I never would have expected things would be like this today.
I feel like I’m surrounded in darkness with no light to see my way
I don’t regret loving you, definitely far from that
But I’m still reeling in pain and I can’t hide this fact

I’m trying to move forward trying to make some progress
But if a day goes by and we don’t chat, I so easily and quickly regress
I think about you all the time, it’s often my nights are sleepless.
However this isn’t good for my spirit so obviously I need a reset.

I said I would never cry over anyone again,
And boy that was a lie
You say that you only want to be friends
And that just kills me inside

I’m very aware of reality, and the situation I put myself in.
Because honestly this pain is worth it, if I end up with you in the end.

My heart wants to go back and forth my mind and spirit disagree
I do yearn for you, and we know the reasons why
My heart still feel there’s a chance but my brain says leave this behind.
But difficult as it is, I can’t seem to say goodbye

A couple of months ago, my future seemed clear and that you would be in it everyday.
But before I even got a chance to awake, it feels like my dream already faded away.

Please don’t take this as you hurt me, or I feel any resentment
But I can’t go on like nothing is wrong, I need to stop pretending

There may come a time where I will cross your mind just as passing thought
They will be no smile nor a tear a sign that all of this was for naught.

But if that’s the plan that God laid out, there is no way I can’t fight it.
A love doused in water where no level of spark could ignite it.

But you will happy, and that’s part 1 of my prayer.
Part 2 is you will be happy, but it’s I who is there.

But no one knows what the future is like, so I’ll try to remain in the present.
But it’s hard to do when I always wish to be in your presence.

I miss your good morning texts.
I miss your wicked attempts.
I miss our morning drives while you hold my hand as if it was my only one left.
I miss are drive home calls, that sometimes lasted to eleven.
Yes these were the greatest of times where my heart and brain were in heaven.

I don’t expect this poem to change your mind.
Although that’s a hopeful wish.
I had trouble staying asleep and figured it might help if I wrote this.

I apologize for restless nights I caused you and any pain when I caused it.
Because if I ever made you feel this pain, then boy do I deserve this

Your smile is one of my precious treasures and I’ll do what I can to protect it.
Even if that means I have to leave, but if your happy I won’t regret it.

Thank you god for bringing her in my life, I’ve experienced true happiness.
But without my light, I feel so lost as I slip into darkness